Of What truly been abandoned

*my lately pale look*

Yes, I know I've been abandoning my beloved weblog for a super duper Looooong time, but I have no choice to do so, I have to. These days since the first time of coming to UTAR I swear, was the worst choice I've ever made that are sucks enough. I don't like the feeling at all, I don't know why every single friend of mine had a very nice university/college life but I don't, I-am-jealous-seriously. I know I deserve a better environment, yet I wanted so much to complain about it, but that's my choice, who can I blame?? I was so upset with this, I am fed-up. I can't...complain. I hate the peoples here, whoever around me. No matter the first group of friends I've met here, or assignments group mates, or my house mates, I didn't even met a person who can easily talk to, or even a person that are whole-heartedly truly honestly to be there for you. There are NO such a person in this area, NO. It's just...everything are going totally not smooth, and...driven me up the wall. A fly in the ointment?? It's a big deal, DAMN. I thought everything will gotta be okay if I choose to forget and try to walk through them, but I tried so hard so hard to change them, still....I was wondering, who's cursing me?? I did everything could be!!! All I want is just a friend who will treat me nicely, whole-heartedly, honestly, be true, ....I missed my school friends, I mean all friends before this University. Can anyone please tell me is that true that after high sch's life you wouldn't get friends that are majority good and kind?? Or it's just the luck that matters??

I'm pissed-off with a girl called Angeline Chong YT. She was a bitch, I swear. I've never seen such a dick before in my life, she just didn't know she should appreciate that much from "us", still kept wandering in the side of the BEACH and pouring sand and the sourness to "us", and....arghh that's so much of herass things, screw her. She thought that she's the one who have a lot of friends & keep pretending to be friendly with someone else & bla bla bla thought that no one knows her tricks and then I tell you actually I wanted so much telling her in the FB saying stop that you crazy little shorty all of them know you so well just not to unmask you you stupid, for only her to see that post, but I don't want to be a person more stupid than her so I just keep myself control and endureeeeeee ....*GASP* I know I sounds childish, but it came to eve

ryone once they got really MAD.

So, do you think that the whole town ABANDONED me? Friends ABANDONED me? Or the good things ABANDONED me?? I wish the abandon were only temporary, who knows... A toy or a doll is much more safer than a mankind.

*tori-chan my beloved*

I was so tired living in the new town here, staying with the person I don't likes I don't really cares, no true friends...that's why I kept watching dramas, especially Korean dramas, and American dramas, which most caught my attention was Dream High and The Vampire Diaries. These 2 are totally awesome!! I took just 3 days for each to finish them, *GIGGLES* silly I am. Oops of course Vampire Diaries I mean is for only a season episodes, *LAUGHS*. I crave for every episodes till the vein, like the vampires crave for the bloods, just the same feeling. I got goosebumps to every single storyline, I love Jeremy and Anna's love story, Jeremy is really cool, he is much more stable than Elena when facing with vampires, wow..I cried when Anna died, and her mom Pearl .. I knew the Elena's doppelgänger Katherine will come back and I'm glad to see Stefan fed John Gilbert his blood, even I don't know what might happen aftermath... haha, it's getting much more interesting doesn't it? Dream High is awesome with their soundtracks, how I love!!!

*the vampire diaries, good looking Stefan Elena and Damon, irresistible, slurp~ =P *

*Dream high*

I know my results is getting worse and worse, I was thinking to change my study mood since I failed to achieve my target, but I can't because I don't like this subject, I am not suitable with this subject, I was born to be a newscaster an artist but not a business woman, I can't study that you understand, I can't even I tried to love this subject I can't I just can't. That's not my interest, ...I love dancing, singing, playing piano, drawing stuffs, I can speak well and fluent in different languages, I can be good in reading speeches, I speak well, I love to make friends, love being social, but I don't like business stuffs. Then you'll start to ask me why chosen this, I'll give the same as ever answer of I listened to what elder-ship says, and all I want is a different knowledge and get a cert and get my ass out of that sch cuz I wants only friends in there then...I am so regret that I didn't choose English and so I can go out together with Alyn and...I can find other friends rather these ...

Seriously, I don't know how to face him any more. He started to showing up his temper, not like the one who loves me, who cares me, if one loves you, he/she will not act that way, saying that buying breakfast lunch and dinner means caring and loving? do you think it really is? seriously, think about it, it's been a practise, a habit. No, I can't trust him, all I was thinking how he's gonna leave me and all that stuffs with WoeiChyi and the way he treats girls...Yes, I have strong possessiveness I can't help, I hate myself being like that too al-right. Care? Love being with me? So where're those little things that show up? Where's our Valentine's Day? We used to because every lovely month we have our own sweet valentines' day, but the problem is I am the only one who obsessed to do so, now where is it? We're too often to hang out together that's why all the stuffs I did is not that special any more and... I was tired being so. A man loves a woman will do something romantic but I didn't get anything any signal from him...we talked about future?? Do we?? We kissed we messed up in the bed?? Do we?? C'mon...exaggerating? Kidding me...

If time would go back, I will choose to be a bitch. That's much better than you really love someone deadly.
Goodbye, my love. Not that I choose to abandon you, you abandoned my love.